


Elegant Crimes

by AlexNow



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: I don't want her to die, I really like Sarah and think she's lovely, M/M, So please don't take this seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-09
Updated: 2013-01-09
Packaged: 2017-11-24 08:00:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/632211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexNow/pseuds/AlexNow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <span class="small">Brendon's still coping with his loss and, as always, Ryan is there to help him get through it. But is it really Brendon who needs reassuring? </span>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Elegant Crimes

Laughs.

Sounds coming out of his friends' mouths as they continued joking around.

And he was sickened by it.

He still couldn't figure out how they could all seem happy after what happened only a week ago. He thought they would be understanding. He thought they would be supportive. They act like if it was of no importance. He couldn't stand it.

"I'm going back to the bus. Gonna rest." He muttered and stood up, leaving his cup filled with soda on the small coffee table. Spencer seemed to be the only one who heard.

"You alright?" He asked. Ryan pursed his lips.

"Yeah, I'm just tired." He responded instead. Spencer sighed but nodded. Ryan turned around, walking away, leaving a laughing Spencer and Jon behind along with the people he was supposed to call friends.

Faking happiness wasn't getting them anywhere.

The first thing he heard once he opened the door of the tour bus were quiet sobs, seeming muffled. Ryan wasn't surprised.

Brendon sat on his bed with his pillow in his hands and his face buried in it. Ryan sighed and moved to sit next to him with his legs pressed to his chest.

"How are you?" He murmured. It was a stupid question, he knows. But it was the only way to get Brendon to open up. Brendon removed his face from the pillow and sniffed before locking his dark brown eyes rimmed red with Ryan's brown ones.

"I was going to ask her to marry me." He whispered. Ryan tensed slightly at the news but forced himself to seem unfazed on the outside as moved his head to stare at the bunk bed in front of him.

"Sometimes things have to change." He replied solemnly. Brendon stared at the wet pillow in his hands.

"I don't remember death being a joke." He said.

"It isn't."

"Then why'd they take her away from me after they knew of my plans like if it was nothing? They ruined them." Brendon whispered and another tear ran down his cheek. Ryan didn't ask who 'they' were.

"Maybe Sarah was the one who chose to go." He said. Brendon tensed at the mention of her name and his eyes widened before he slowly turned around to face Ryan's left side of his face.

"Are you claiming she committed suicide?" He said through his clenched jaw.

"I'm not claiming anything."

"She was happy, I know it." Brendon said with a strong voice, defending his sweet, sweet Sarah. Ryan sighed and turned to face Brendon again.

"I do too, Bren. You know I didn't mean it that way." He replied. Brendon found himself feeling a huge weight on his shoulders again.

"I miss her." He whispered. Ryan's eyes softened as he saw the person who was always grinning and playing around as a vulnerable boy in front of him.

"She would want you to be happy." He responded softly, trying his best to see Brendon's smile again but it was difficult, seeing as Ryan was not one for being tolerant.

"I loved her very much." Brendon continued to mourn and he stared at his pillow again, his bottom lip starting to quiver. Ryan closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. If only Brendon knew how much he was hurting him.

Ryan then opened his eyes and couldn't help but glare at Brendon.

"She wasn't perfect." He shot at him. Brendon seemed surprised by Ryan's outburst but quickly wiped his tears away with his sleeve, glaring back through blurry eyes.

"Yes she was! She was all I could have ever asked for," Brendon yelled through gritted teeth, "You wouldn't know. You've never been in love." Brendon shot at him but once he noticed his words he immediately took it back. Ryan's eyes narrowed even more.

"You don't know that." He whispered menacingly. Brendon shook his head.

"No, I don't. And I'm sorry." He responded. A ghost of a smile grazed Ryan's lips but he didn't respond.

They just sat in silence for a long while, both staring at the same bunk bed in front of them where Jon and Spencer slept.

"Is this how you have felt all this time?" Brendon suddenly asked. Ryan forced himself to remain with his blank façade.

"You can talk to me, you know." Brendon said in a soft whisper. Ryan pursed his lips. He hated pity. And Brendon knew it.

"I'm fine." He responded impassively. He didn't like talking about what happened years ago. His mother abandoned him but he didn't feel regret for letting her go. He didn't miss her either.

Then Ryan sighed and leaned on the wall, staring at the ceiling and letting a small laugh escape him. Brendon stared at him as if he was crazy for laughing at these moments.

"I thought I was supposed to cheer you up." He said. Brendon smiled a bit and for a moment he forgot about all his doubts, worries and despairs. He just stared at his best friend beside him.

"If somehow there was a way to make you smile and laugh more when there are no cameras around us, I swear I'd do it. No matter what it would be." Brendon said. Ryan pressed his lips together.

"Anything?" He asked, trying to run a hand through his hair, unsuccessfully. The gel in his hair made his hand get stuck because of his 'weird' hairstyle, which his fans had so kindly named 'The Ryhawk'. Brendon laughed slightly, sniffing shortly after.

"Absolutely anything to see you happy again." Brendon stated. Ryan tried to hide his smile and leaned towards Brendon, making them so close their noses barely touched each other. Brendon's eyes widened and his breathing hitched.

"Are you sure?" Ryan murmured, his breathe filling Brendon's nose with Ryan's sweet smell.

"I don't know." He blew, his eyes huge and he began chewing on the corner of his bottom lip as he noticed Ryan's hand settled on his shoulder. Ryan's eyes got distracted with Brendon's chewed lip and smiled, seeming satisfied with his response.

Without a second thought Ryan took out Brendon's lip from his teeth and pressed their mouths together. Brendon froze but didn't push Ryan away and just as Ryan was going to pull away he began moving his lips to the sweet melody of Ryan's.

All too soon Ryan pulled away and both of them gasped for air, both their lips swollen. And Brendon knew he did the right thing when he noticed Ryan's huge grin.

"Well, that was new." He managed to get out. Ryan's grin widened and his eyes twinkled with happiness.

"Sometimes things have to change."


End file.
